Attachment is everything
It is how you relate to people.
It is how you see yourself.
It makes you who you are.
It takes everything away from you before your life has time to begin.
Parents are tricked into thinking that being ready for a child means having a room perfectly set up, getting diapers of all sizes and properly installing a car seat. Really, the greatest tool that isn't given is the opportunity to develop us, the parent. The expectations that we place on people to be successful parents is unrealistic at best; especially when we don't give them the tools to succeed.
At least 40% of adults did not have a secure attachment with their parents and were, therefore, not given the skills to be successful themselves*.
"During the first three years of life, the human brain develops to 90% of adult size and puts in place the majority of systems and structures that will be responsible for all future of emotional, behavioral, social and physiological functioning during the rest of life."
-Dr. Bruce Perry
Infancy has the potential to be the most important time of any person's life because the attachment a child builds with their parent during that time has life-long effects. A child's emotional capacity, independence, and how they will react to stress is set by age 2. The ability to love and trust are rooted during this time as well.
Attachment affects brain development in two important ways. First, because the child feels safe and cared for, the brain can use its energy to develop pathways crucial for higher level thinking. Secure attachment is particularly related to the development of the frontal cortex, which is responsible for decision-making, judgment, and reasoning**.
*A study done by Princetown University of 14,000 US children in 2014 found that 40% of them lacked a secure attachment. This study has been replicated over and over again.
** DeBellis & Thomas, 2003; Dozier, et al., 2008